well I seem to have forgotten about this once again. Although I am sure nobody actually follows this blog or much of what I say, I have actually had some new developments within my life that have led back to the power of the internet.
My mother had a right hemisphere stroke on Sept. 1st and when i started a blog to help our family and friends keep up with all the new developments on her health and well-being. I rediscovered the relief of venting. Although i do think the idea of venting on the internet kind of silly, if you don’t feel comfortable sharing your ideas and feeling with your friends and family what leads to sharing your inner most thoughts and feelings with the vast source of strangers who stumble upon your blog/facebook or whatever you use to share expose your soul. But I find myself feeling alone and drowning in all the stress related to my new life as a freshmen in college, a primary caregiver for my mom, and as not so valued member of the dying American workforce.
I wasted away my summer work 50+ hours a week at two very unsatisfying jobs, which lead to me juggling my 50+ hours a week and 16 hours of class and then my juggling became impossible on Sept. 1st when I received the call that my mother was having a stroke. that night was the worst night of my life. I cannot explain the fear I felt seeing my mom sprawled out on a gurney, completely out of it. Seeing the woman who made you who you are not herself… is just not right.
My fears of her death have now transitioned into frustration with her recovery. I so glad that she is alive and health but there are moments when all I want is to talk to my mom. The way my mom used to be.
But as I struggle through this time, i see how loved my mother and our family is and i am thankful to have such great friends and family.
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